`Today im free at home !

`Morning im still not feeling well because seen not like going anywhere !

`Dhen meet with wilber and Rongyaw going having lunch at KuaiKeLi !

`Lastly i decided to face and settle mine things by myself !

`Coz me at least wanna face it some days !

`Dhen i do a praying before im going !

`Im praying for God let him decided for me about mine next step !

`Dhen im go meet uncle lucas after that !

`IM trying mine best telling him about what mine feeling and thinking!

`Phieewww happy with he acept it ^^

`Tehee , thanks for it so much !!

`Lalala , feeling so relax after i settle it !

`Going with HuiGor and Augustine bringing bobo go visit PetDoctor at Bettie!

`Apuhss ...

`Jump in to the pool in GCM!

`So long time me have been no swiming liaw wao ! so fun !~

`But .. im tired haha !!

`Hmm , kinda sienx lor for tml cant play niaw ! going work gain !

`So fast one week going finised soon ! waiting next week coming because gonna finish the working !

`Wohoo , hope me all the best ^^

我真的很想变成你们口中的好 ， 给我机会和时间好吗？

我的想法与心情

刚才到绿洲一趟！
虽然在那里后发生了一些些事情！
但是，我还是必须感恩！

感恩天父安排我与Lucas老师有一个交谈的机会！
从那里我知道了一些私人的事情！
感觉不是很好，很失望！
但是还蛮开心！
毕竟我明白了自己的状况！

谢谢Lucas老师给我机会让我明白自己的问题！
虽然从他口里听到这些事情，
心情很不好受，很失望！
毕竟自己觉得在绿洲还不错！
哪里知道从他那里知道自己的问题！
会有点很难接受！
在他关起门时，我就很不好受了！
开始向天父祷告，因为我害怕了！

很快的我也离开了绿洲,
也没多留意下！
原本答应带荣耀和我贤去吃东西！
可是自己已经没心情了，
只好送他们先回家！
对不起！
感谢他们两个在路上安慰我！

后来到师傅家，
听了她给我的一些意见，
并且一直支持我去营会叫我不要放弃这次机会！
同时也告诉我什么应该改和跟我分享一些事情！

因为还是不知道下一步该怎么做，
就找了辉哥！
跟他也聊了很多！
从他们口中的谈话，
他们告诉了我很多我还没想过的东西！

- 我真的准备好参加这次的营会了吗？
- 我了解了真正的自己吗？
- 我选折了自己要的“道路” 吗？
- 我已经有能力带领小孩们吗？
- 我一辈子只要做义工吗？
- 我有能力在营会里看顾他们？
- 以我跟大家的关系，我能照顾他们？
- 参加营会真正的目的?
- 我真的改变了吗？还是跟以前一样？
- 我有信心吗？

还年轻的我要已经要开始做选择了！
冷静下来想想，Lucas老师他们不要我去营会必然有他们的想法！
也许，是我自己还没真正的准备好！
Lucas老师给我的压力也不是没道理的！
毕竟，他顾虑到日后的事情！
当然还年轻的我只顾着现在,没想到未来！

也许很多人认为我到营会纯粹要跟朋友聚会，大家能唱歌玩在一起！
可是我都没那么想过！
这起回来我都把焦点放在这两个营会里！
我真的真的很想参加，很想帮忙！
我只是单纯的因为第一次参加后很喜欢，就想参加下去而已！
也许自己的表现和准备还不是很好！
真的有点后悔自己没有很努力改变！

= 在营会来临前，我还来得及吗？
= 我到底该如何回复Lucas老师？
= 知道了自己的问题后，我以后应该如何帮助小孩？
= 我该怎么改变我自己？
= 我应该参加这起的营会吗？

我其实很烦很累了，
但是听了师傅，辉哥，Lucas老师的感想，
我觉得自己要改变，要加强的空间还是很多！
要带领小孩们，自己没做好准备怎么参加？
感恩他们让我知道事情的重要性！

我真的依然想澄清 “ 我真的没做过！”
毕竟我的努力也许还不是很明显，
我会加油！虽然不知道小孩，朋友，老师对我的想法如何！
但是我会努力的，
就算下次不是为了营会，为了自己也好！
我要改！
我真的很想参加营会，
但是我不想自己因为老师们可怜我而给我参加，
然而我希望是因为自己的表现人得到参加营会的机会！

以上是我今天的感想！
真的希望大家读了我的部落格后，
可以告诉我还有什么需要改，
我还有什么不好,
我哪里不对，
好吗？
我会多多检点的！

谢谢Lucas老师给依然我机会想清楚！
谢谢Marlene师傅和辉哥的宝贵时间！
谢谢小孩们的安慰！
谢谢天父让我有机会面对自己的问题！

不管最后我变得怎样，我会努力的！
希望我没有那么差！

Sorry because have been delete one of the post because of mine bad attitube in it !
But , im kinda wanna save what Marlene shih fu telling me in coment !
So im planing to cut and paste at here as a example for mine always Always !!

------------------------------------------------------------

Yung, shi fu shares with you a verse Hui Gor always mention oh: 提摩太前書 4:12 不可叫人小看你年輕． 總要在言語、 行為、 愛心、 信心、 清潔上． 都作信徒的榜樣。

ask yourself
1. are you young? YES
2. How is your 言語? Seems ok.. except sometime the words are bad in the blog....
3. 行為? No clubbing, not bringing friends to those places,no smoking, no gaduh, no talk bad words behind...... Wow, seems not bad.
4. 愛心? What is the purpose of helping others in camp?
5. 信心? Do you have confident.. that god already change you to a better person?
6. Purity life? 清潔上
7. 都作信徒的榜樣; Does everyone know you are a Christian or have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?

Praying for you. Focus on the target, not the obstacle, and when you do so, the obstacle will become blurry and will gone in short time :)

Hiahx ! so sienx ! why anyhow i praying until last the answer also same !
I reli just can go one of the camp !
Abit sad and moodless lorh !

Dun k how i rajin how i trying ..
One same is one but not two !! how come other ppl can ?!!
Always in miri de ppl not same with those studying outside de!
They can anytime going center , of coz relationship more good !
Dear god , im reli keep so hard keep on praying to u with it !
How come u dun let me join both of them?

Like that still nvm ,
During working u keep aranging me working under tis situation !
I dun noe what main reason u wan me learn about ..
But stop it im reli reli on stress !!
First time feeling i beter use the Stress in exam beter u noe !
Im keep on tank and tahan !
How long me can tahan until ?

I noe im worst ! im laoya im useless !
But what can do worh ?
Im coming back miri main reason reli just for that!
Now what also dun had liaw!
Sad no ppl noe also !
What the difrent if im staying in kl ?

If reli can , I reli hope im not the ahyung in the world !
I dun reli wish to Fan so much of the things!
Those stress make me feeling wanna brust and gila !

I RELI NO MOOD RIGHT NOW , DUN TRY ON MINE LIMIT !

`Im feeling myself so useless u noe ?!!!

`Everyone just think about me when they nid mine help ?!!

`When no nid dhen how ? FORGOT ME ? IGNORE ME ?!!

`Wtffff im so sienx right now TT

First time !

`Waoo ! me first time feeling im so good u noe !!

`This few day im out of money oledi !

`Still owns lee and hilda money tim !

`Aikx poor till dun noe wan how xplain !!

`Just now going home ,

`Brother nagging wanna eat supper because hungry !

`Mine wallet left rm5 ?!! what to do ?!!

`Popo havnt sleep yet , me just can dapau 2 only ?!!

`Swt swt !!

`Lastly me decided dapau one mee for brother and kuehtiaw for my popo !

`Hmm , how about me ? havnt diner also since back from working !!

`Me dhen go kitchen cook maggie mee and free myself two half boil egg =)

`Wohoo , feel so proud for myself ^^!!

`Although not what special things , but im HAPPY !